Getting Thru the Bad Days
Updated: Sep 3
After another sleepless night it took every bit of willpower I had just to get out the bed to use the bathroom ten feet away, I knew it was going to be a really bad day.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who wakes up some days, if you get to sleep at all, without the will to get out of bed or do anything productive. Maybe those nagging repetitious thoughts run through your mind as they do mine. "No on will even notice if you never got out of bed again" or "Nothing you do matters, not in the great scheme of things, not even in the lives of those around you, give up." or my most common "everyone would be better off without your presence, being around you is hard work, spare them this day." Those negative thoughts have a way of being the loudest and with the most clarity at the start of your day, whenever that may be. I hope you find some of the tips that have worked me helpful to you as well.
“If all you ever do is all you've ever done, all you will ever get is all you've ever gotten.” -Unknown
I use to have this quote written out in bold black permanent marker on a poster board tacked up on my bedroom wall. It's one of the first things I saw every morning and it forced me to think about what I wanted to accomplish that day and what new techniques or actions could I try to reach my goals. Now that is all well and good on those days when you have at least a small spark of momentum but on those days when you can't even muster that you need an accountability partner.
An accountability can help you get through those days when you feel you have nothing left within yourself to give, your partner will pick up the slack. This a close friend, a relative, a partner or for those of you that are like me and not able to maintain these sort of relationships, an online community can be very helpful. However you do it you need to find someone that has knowledge of your diagnosis and is wlling to be available to you when you call them. It may take time find someone that you feel you can trust at this level it's important to have an accountability partner before you are having a bad or in crisis. Let them know your goals and the things you are struggling with the most. A good partner will make sure you are staying focused on your goals and on those awful can't get out of bed days, they will either come over and pull you out of bed or give you a pep talk and even a little guilt trip to help motivate you and keep you focused. A five minutes conversation in the morning can be enough to keep you going all day.
Setting Small Doable Daily Goals
Setting daily goals was something I had to make myself for the first well like six months before it became a natural part of my day. They say it takes 21-days to develop a habit but for some us it can take much longer, but you have to keep at it. Before you go sleep at night or as part of your morning routine (which is also important to have) write 3-5 easily obtainable goals, you can add some more challenges ones but put them further down the list. The point is feel a sense of accomplishment each day, some days you may only get one or two items checks off but just knowing that you have done something productive with your day can really change your outlook.
Having Something to Look Forward to
This one is a biggie, having something to look forward can literally save your life the Lord knows it has saved mine. When you are in funk, have blues or are downright depressed, visualizing an upcoming trip, visit with family, throwing a party, even a holiday can lift you out of it. I have had times when I felt I had nothing to live for nothing hope for but before I sank too low I would plan a weekend or day cruise. I absolutely love to cruise it is one of my favorite things to do where I feel completely carefree and adventurous. Even if I didn't have dime to put towards I would go the website or a travel app and plan out every detail. I found that by the end of it I felt excited instead of hopeless and visualizing me on the cruise ship made me feel well, happy, #hopeful. We could get scientific and explain why certain thoughts release endorphins (the happy chemical) and the release of those endorphins causes a euphoric feeling that the brain wants to go back to again and again. Certain drugs can also cause this which is way people become addicted but we will discuss that in a later post.